The Third Hour of the Night
by Frank Bidart
When the eye
When the edgeless screen receiving
light from the edgeless universe
When the eye first
When the edgeless screen facing
outward as if hypnotized by the edgeless universe
When the eye first saw that it
Hungry for more light
resistlessly began to fold back upon itself TWIST
As if a dog sniffing
Ignorant of origins
familiar with hunger
As if a dog sniffing a dead dog
Before nervous like itself but now
weird inert cold nerveless
Twisting in panic had abruptly sniffed itself
When the eye
first saw that it must die When the eye first
Brooding on our origins you
ask When and I say
Then
•
wound-dresser let us call the creature
driven again and again to dress with fresh
bandages and a pail of disinfectant
suppurations that cannot
heal for the wound that confers existence is mortal
wound-dresser
what wound is dressed the wound of being
•
Understand that it can drink till it is
sick, but cannot drink till it is satisfied.
It alone knows you. It does not wish you well.
Understand that when your mother, in her only
pregnancy, gave birth to twins
painfully stitched into the flesh, the bone of one child
was the impossible-to-remove cloak that confers
invisibility. The cloak that maimed it gave it power.
Painfully stitched into the flesh, the bone of the other child
was the impossible-to-remove cloak that confers
visibility. The cloak that maimed it gave it power.
Envying the other, of course each twin
tried to punish and become the other.
Understand that when the beast within you
succeeds again in paralyzing into unending
incompletion whatever you again had the temerity to
try to make
its triumph is made sweeter by confirmation of its
rectitude. It knows that it alone
knows you. It alone remembers your mother's
mother's grasping immigrant bewildered
stroke-filled slide-to-the-grave
you wiped from your adolescent American feet.
Your hick purer-than-thou overreaching veiling
mediocrity. Understand that you can delude others but
not what you more and more
now call the beast within you. Understand
the cloak that maimed each gave each power.
Understand that there is a beast within you
that can drink till it is
sick, but cannot drink till it is satisfied. Understand
that it will use the conventions of the visible world
to turn your tongue to stone. It alone
knows you. It does
not wish you well.
These are instructions for the wrangler.